Before we say “I do”…
If God’s way is the best way, why do we always do things our way? We all know the answer. Because it’s easiest or it takes the least amount of thought or it feels good or any combination thereof. When it comes to the covenant of marriage, we’re no different.
God entered into a covenant with us on the basis of belief, love, and obedience. If we believe in Him, we’ll love Him because we will know His love. If we love Him, we will do his commandments. And He will be a happy husband and we will be a happy bride. Pretty simple right? Perhaps not as simple as we think.
A ladder of love
The way my brain sees it, that basis for being his bride – belief, love, and obedience – runs up and down. God gave us his commandments and thus proposed to us. Yet, we know that simply doing the commandments is not enough. We receive those commandments and ask ourselves if we can do them with love. Doing that involves faith that our Father knows best. That faith means that we believe in Him. If we believe in him we love Him. If we love Him, we do his commandments. Up and down we go.
With God’s proposal, we find an example. The comic above pokes fun at how we can get that example wrong. But the example remains. We should have something similar in our covenants with our spouse. It can be a good thing or a bad thing. The key is love.
Honey do…
What would a ten commandments for the covenant of marriage between you and your spouse (or spouse-to-be) look like? Would they be similar to those of the comic? Maybe you have different specifics that you feel strongly about. Write them down. Sounds crazy but God did it. Why can’t we?
But when we write them down, something strange happens. First we write things that we think are important. Then we sit back and, after some analysis, we realize that the items we have are superficial. And we go deeper. Something like, “Don’t waste money on purses and shoes” becomes “Be responsible with our finances.” Round two yields some nice looking “commandments” but, after further analysis, they still seem a bit superficial. And they don’t encompass all that we would really expect from our spouse. So we continue to refine the list. I believe that eventually, if we put enough thought and effort into it, we’ll get something like the following:
1. I am your spouse who loves you and would do anything for you. I am your only spouse, please make our relationship of the utmost importance.
2. Do not let anyone come between us. Speak to me directly.
3. Don’t talk ill of me, make fun of me, or think little of me.
4. Make time to spend with me and only me. Don’t let work or shopping or anything get in the way of the time we set aside to be with each other.
5. Treat our family and relatives with love, respect, and honor.
6. Don’t hurt me physically.
7. Don’t cheat on me.
8. Be honest with our finances.
9. Don’t lie to me.
10. Don’t try to “keep up with the Jones’s.”
That’s a pretty good list of dos and don’ts. But I basically just took the Ten Commandments and adapted them for our human relationships. Hmm… I guess the Father knows best after all. Now onto living happily ever after.
